2014 the year of reflection

Generally on the blog I keep things upbeat and positive. I rarely share anything personal because in general my life isn’t that exciting. I’m an ordinary girl. Living an ordinary life. I wrote something very personal in October a journey of my molar pregnancy the biggest wake up call I ever had in my life. The viral response that I got was totally unexpected and I was blown away by several radio and newspaper interviews as well as well wishes from people Id never met and I was glad I wrote the piece. I’ve not written much since. The truth is nothing seemed more important than that piece. The latter quarter of the year is always crazy for me also every year. It’s Christmas from September and everyone wants a piece of me for either eventing or socialising. Television is next I think for me! 🙈

Right now I’m sitting on on my bed listening to Sam Smith. My favourite album of 2014. I always get thoughtful on New Year’s Eve. Not in a sad way though. It’s more pensive and appreciative.

My most memorable one was my wedding day. I’m a different person now to five years ago. Better? I hope so. But infinitely different. My childhood ones incorporate the neighbours in our living room hugging and singing and then a large group of adults and children out on the terrace ( the park I lived in and still do) singing In the new year watching the fireworks. Pretty bog standard memories but precious to me. Adults crying I used to be bewildered by it. Perhaps they too were assessing missed opportunity or lost love?

I look at facing my 36th birthday in six weeks. My 35th year was probably the biggest year yet of my life for self discovery. Some of it I can’t share, as it’s not only my story. Mr G is very private about everything. A privacy I respect. It involves friends and family too. But here are the things I’m leaving in 2014 ;

Self Criticism : the world is a cruel place and I didn’t realise this until I hit secondary school and was bullied. It was the first place I learned to look myself critically. It dented my confidence and the confidence my parents and siblings had instilled in me from birth. I really only regained that this year. Isn’t that bloody crazy ? 23 years to realise that I am more than the ugly,dorky,nerdy girl with the funny voice? The bullying story is one I will blog about another time. Strange that as an adult if confronted with my bully I would only pity her. I see her from time to time. She’s not so scary anymore.

Unhealthy habits; not taking time to cook for myself , not walking, running or working out every day. This is a commitment that I need to make to myself. It’s not a weight or body goal rather a new vessel to live my life in. I will never be perfect and you know what ? I don’t care. A twelve day programme at Educogym started me on a journey that I will be forever grateful for. It’s helped me feel better about myself and break habits I didn’t realise I had.

To continue being a good friend : I endorse positivity and love every day where I can. There are parts of me that are private and only a few can see but on the whole I am an open book. I am lucky to have good solid friends that love me. I love them back fiercely. Love is a funny word. There is a blog post about that coming too I think. I hope that I am a good friend. I’m loyal and expect the same loyalty in return. The last few years has seen a few friends fall by the wayside for various reasons , but loyalty and non judgement is something I value immensely. My dad gave me advice when I was a teenager ( he was good at giving advice) and he said ” Mary you are given your own life to live, live it as best you can and let other people live theirs, the quiet way is the best way” that piece of advice I’ve kept locked in my heart. I won’t judge or criticise anyone for what they do and funnily I expect the same in return. I’m not a saint nor will I say that I’ve never discussed or judged someone but I try not to, unless I feel they are harming themselves. I am an ear to anyone. I try to love everyone. I wish I had more time for the friends I don’t see as much. I have my life to live and judgement by anyone I will not condone or accept.
Goals ;
Volunteer; I’ve done a fair bit of volunteering in 2014, it’s going to continue in 2015. I feel
Lucky and courageous to have been given the life I have.

Be myself: Glamityjane is a persona, an alter ego. I like her though. She’s tough, ballsy and not afraid of anything. I’m bringing more if her to Mary. I don’t want there to be a divide. We are all complex beings nobody would believe with all the selfies I take for my make up looks that I actually wouldn’t be my own greatest fan. And the duck face is only because my lips are tiny and look that way? I embarked on the selfie game in the summer and while it can take a few shots to get a half decent photo at least I know I’m not perfect. And I’m showing the girls on my blog that make up can solve it all. And if it doesn’t just smile and get on with your day.

Blog more: I think I have a lot to say. Some of it is highly inappropriate and Maybe better left unsaid however my blog is going to move to a beauty and lifestyle direction. It’s kind of where it’s at now but maybe with some interiors and a bit of cookery too. Anyone that follows me on Instagram will know I’m a fan of my grub.

Go a

Take the beauty world by storm; Professionally this year has been amazing. I took up beauty editorship at Hi Magazine, got a bigger column in the Cork Indo, took on a training role was on radio lots And ended my day job year on a personal best result. That’s a pretty good effort all round.
So 2014 has had highs and some really bad days where I cried. I have shed more than one tear for myself and others this year. Some of my closest friends have had stress and loss like no other. But you gotta put up with the rain to see the rainbow. My darkest hours i have not shared with anyone. I close the door and just get through that shite 60 mins. It’s not easy. But nothing worth having is.

Finally to everyone for 2015, I wish you all enough. Enough love, happiness health and fun for 2015, not too much but enough.

Love and happiness xxxxx

Here are my fave bits, selfies Snapchats and cocktails. They might not be perfect but neither is life x