I am on a very good journey at the moment and its a journey that I have seen a lot of my friends on in recent years. It’s a journey that really reaps rewards in every way and for me it’s been a journey of self discovery. Discovering things I didn’t know about myself.
Being unfit is something you don’t really realise at times. I’d describe myself as high energy. I wouldn’t really be a one for sitting down a lot. I’m always on the go. In recent years however I have felt incredibly sluggish and had let myself go fitness wise. My days off were spent mentally keeping fit. Reading and writing. But my body was getting less fit. I had an epiphany in September and decided to try and get a bit fitter. I posted a facebook message about the gym and found myself seated in a waiting area of what I perceived to be the work out centre of the super fit. Educogym. I remember thinking I will actually never stick to this. Look at the results. Washboard Abs and me wearing a pair of Spanx to work. I won’t be able to lift anything the weights are too big and the diet too restrictive. I remember sitting there watching the activity feeling overweight guilty and ashamed of my size 22 body.
I stepped on the scales holding my breath. I knew what I weighed and I still cannot say that weight out loud without feeling like a Russian shot putter With a beard.
The initial consultation with Irene was a reality check cleverly disguised as a chat about what dress size Id like to be, what I would like to feel about myself and how I could achieve it. She explained that unless I built muscle my ability to burn fat was not very effective.
Walking in to my first work out was tough. However upon closer inspection all of the bodies I saw were not perfect. There were all shapes and sizes working out there and a lot of trainers. Everyone was motivated and pushing themselves. The trainers were helping out too with people that we’re struggling. It was one of the first times in my life I walked in to a room and felt empowered.
There is no doubt that Mary-Jane O’Regan is confident. That is evident in most areas of my life. Except one. My body. I love my body, but feel sometimes like I hate it too. It’s competent. I’m rarely sick. It doesn’t really let me down. I am however overweight. And sometimes that’s all people see. They can’t appreciate that I’m intelligent , witty or have nice hair. They base their judgement solely on my appearance, my weight. For women weight is an emotional issue. We use it as a guideline for how well we are doing , how good we are. What if I forgot about the scales. ?? I did. I focused on lifting more weights and walking. I focused on what I lovingly refer to as fifty ways with chicken. The 12 day program Educogym began and so did a journey for me. Irene made me promise Id try it for her. If I was doing it for someone else I surely wouldn’t fail. I got motivational messages and texts from all my pals.
Here are some pictures of the before. Still me.
The day after my first work out session I felt surprisingly ok. Stiff and a bit sore. By day two I was having trouble sitting on the toilet. I was using the door jam to try to levitate myself onto the loo. My ass felt like I’d done fifty rounds with Christian grey and by day four I couldn’t even laugh because each muscle in my body was utilised and sore. Food wise the wok was worn out and my digestive system was shall we say .. Regular. Coming off diet coke was hard and I got a headache. All that said though I lost 10 pounds gained muscle and best of all ? I felt unbelievable. I started walking in the early dark mornings before work and the the first stone was gone within weeks.
I wrote that very personal blog and remember awaking and checking my phone to 27 texts to say that i made everyone cry. I was out walking thinking finally i lost the weight I gained from comfort eating way through that last year. I could look at myself naked again. I didn’t feel like a sausage in a dress. My boobs looked perkier. My legs slimmer and harder.
January came and I needed another 12 days. The roses tin had been out and I felt bad habits creeping back. Another half stone gone and then I decided to go hard or go home. I signed up for a month of personal training. Three times a week. Boom I’ve arrived at just under three stone in total. Back in a size 16. Woo hoo!
People warmed me about the side effects of this kind of program . You will be drinking double cream and eggs. You will get arms like a weightlifter. You will hate it. Bullshit. Im eating a varied and balanced diet. My arms are grand and I love it. My skin is great. I’ve got no loose skin. I’m firming up nicely. I sti have treats. There is no doubt that if I gave up drink and chicken wings Id be further along in the process. I’d also be divorced and friendless. Once a week I treat myself to something indulgent. Usually From 6 pm on. Saturday to 6pm on a Sunday. Monday to Friday is healthy and varied with low fat cooking and lunches.
I work in a female environment and am lucky that they encourage me. They tell me that they see results and this Spurs me on more. My family are proud and are really helping me out.
I’m going to keep Educogym up. Here’s why. I need to be shown what to do. I need to make the appointment and stick to it. I need to be measured comprehensively with inch loss and fat loss. I want to be for and Healthy. I want to fit into nice clothes. I want to stand on stage and wear a nice dress when I’m talking about make up. I want to do a you tube channel and not worry about my double chin. I want to not wear Spanx. I want to walk into Penneys and be able to buy a summer dress and not care if it covers my arms. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I want even more energy.
Here I am drinking a cocktail 😄 proof that I’m living.
I want to go to buy underwear that’s impractical and sexy. I want to not feel anxious if im invited somewhere and there is a dress code . I don’t want to be the one sucking it in. I’m a long way off a bikini but not far off a swimsuit.
And more than anything in the world I want to be happy with how I look.
It’s obvious from the above post that I’m not the only one that struggles with weight demons. The post reached over 7000 people. I got messages of support from everyone. That’s what keeps me going. The gym posts will still be coming guys. So will the healthy eating. My head has not been up to blogging much lately but I’m back now. I wanted the first post of March to be filled with positively and motivation. here’s a thought that occurred to me recently. I’m applying this to anything that had a negative impact on me over the last while. My love affair with an unhealthy lifestyle is over. Cian, Slawek Mark and Alan are hard taskmasters. The more I try the harder they work me. I see passion in them for getting me fitter. I see passion in every member of staff at Educogym for health. Not for skinny, not for ripped not for show ponyism but for health and strength. Oddly I want to perform well for them as well as myself. I see my other gym users pushing themselves and they inspire me. They inspire me in a way because many of them are where I want to be. Working hard and maintaining a a great physique. I’ve no aspirations of nudism or bikini photos but what I do want is to feel fit and not self concious.
And right here is the committment to myself over the rest of the year. More blogs, more positivity , more tips and tricks for skincare and make up and more passion for what I love.